Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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