Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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