so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
