Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
