i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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