I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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