i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
