Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
