I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
