he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
