I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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