adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
