Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
