return my video game
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
