Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
