Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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