i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
