I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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