My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Enjoy the penises
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
