You made me cry and you don't even care
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
party gras won. party gras always wins.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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