you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
