For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You did what with his pubic hair?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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