So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
