So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
