You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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