Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
