New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
