I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sex in the backyard? Check.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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