Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
