is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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