hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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