ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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