don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
