I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
