Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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