My liver just broke up with me...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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