The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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