Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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