at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
