I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
