We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize