She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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