the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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