drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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