We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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