You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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