we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
