oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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