Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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