Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
