you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
