I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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