If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.