Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
  Replies (4) Good night (1684) Bad night (658)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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  (801): I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials. http://tfl.nu/rax4
  Replies (19) Good night (3475) Bad night (768)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  can u get pink eye on your cock?

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  (207): can u get pink eye on your cock? http://tfl.nu/aw6r
  Replies (19) Good night (774) Bad night (5630)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1299) Bad night (4473)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

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  (718): Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/eick
  Replies (13) Good night (6646) Bad night (1709)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.

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  (513): All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit. http://tfl.nu/0ntj
  Replies (9) Good night (1302) Bad night (1931)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (2128) Bad night (816)
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  (+04): View more from

  She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.

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  (+04): She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf. http://tfl.nu/hr1t
  Replies (7) Good night (1241) Bad night (972)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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  (601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht
  Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (672)
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  (278): View more from Michigan

  Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.

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  (278): Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms. http://tfl.nu/bwzb
  Replies (2) Good night (1302) Bad night (482)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?

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  (708): Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life? http://tfl.nu/qn7b
  Replies (9) Good night (1077) Bad night (715)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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  (435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj
  Replies (13) Good night (2197) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.

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  (310): When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs. http://tfl.nu/mv4h
  Replies (0) Good night (1140) Bad night (382)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...

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  (810): There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist... http://tfl.nu/z2ai
  Replies (6) Good night (871) Bad night (386)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.

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  (616): The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time. http://tfl.nu/wo2i
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (400)

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