Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
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It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
did i just pee glitter