Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you still trying to smash that chick?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober

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  (248): you still trying to smash that chick? (1-248): it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober http://tfl.nu/22ty
  Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single

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  (317): when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single http://tfl.nu/ybly
  Replies (28) Good night (3883) Bad night (1036)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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  (847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0
  Replies (46) Good night (1962) Bad night (5861)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1749) Bad night (4888)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell

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  (318): I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/2gyi
  Replies (12) Good night (6420) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

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  (443): shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy http://tfl.nu/uhwk
  Replies (13) Good night (3761) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Feeling better?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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  (415): Feeling better? (720): I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day. http://tfl.nu/80q2
  Replies (4) Good night (1610) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G

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  (503): I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G http://tfl.nu/pzjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1886) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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  (864): Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being. http://tfl.nu/1bas
  Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"

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  (843): Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty" http://tfl.nu/jvva
  Replies (1) Good night (1485) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.

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  (301): by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can. http://tfl.nu/1yox
  Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

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  (972): It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night. http://tfl.nu/xja7
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!

  (1-212): View more from New York

  That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.

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  (212): Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?! (1-212): That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready. http://tfl.nu/5w6l
  Replies (0) Good night (626) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (537): View more from

  Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out

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  (537): Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out http://tfl.nu/ifru
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.

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  (302): Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks. http://tfl.nu/7lmc
  Replies (9) Good night (331) Bad night (822)

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