Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.

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(817): View more from Texas

I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

(908): View more from New Jersey

omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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(630): View more from Illinois

Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.

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(512): View more from Texas

I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things

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