so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
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And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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