Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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