I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
