his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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