remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
