I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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