So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
