Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
