The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my being single is dangerous.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize