It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
