Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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