This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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